You know when you feel like you have the entire world.. on your shoulders? Yeah, not in your hands. You don't carry it that simply. Instead you have to haul it onyour back because your hands are not yet strong enough to hold it. You have to go through pain in order to get the pleasure.. fair enough I guess. But how come it has to last so long? And, why is life sometimes like a rollercoaster? How come you have to feel periods of awful pain and then life will all of a sudden change direction.. and it makes you so happy. If happiness is so great, and we all strive for it- why don't we ever get happiness that lasts? What changes it when we get it? What makes it go away?? Do we drive it away? I dont understand. I dont understand life.. but then again, who asked me to?
You #1. You dont give me butterflies, you dont make me nervous, and you definitly don't like being nice to me, but when you are you make me giggle and smile and just really happy. Lately you actually talk to me, and as much as your nice to me, I'm nice to you too. I hate how I don't know what your thinking, or anything to do with you but I'm sure you'd want to know whats going on in my head to. We talk a lot now, in class and on msn. I'm not quite sure how to explain this, because I dont even know if I actually like you, but right now I'll say that I have a crush on you because you make me happy. I now would call you one of my friends, and I never though I'd say you were a guy I could potentially really like. You #2. You are my closest guy friend for sure, and I dont know how this happened but it did. You probably don't know how much you acutally mean to me, but you mean a lot because you are always there for me, and you probably tell me just as much or more then I share with you. Its really weird to have someone like that, but I'm glad because I want to feel like you can trust me too, because I actually care about you, a lot. You know when something is bugging me, and even if I wont tell you, your there trying to help with what information I have told you, your amazing you really are. I can't help but be annoyed by people saying that I like you and that you like me becuase just as much as you probably think I like you, I think you like me. I know I'm wrong and I really never want things between us to ever change, I dont care that we flirt that times because to me that means nothing, your a guy, I'm a girl. That'll happen no matter what, and right now I dont care what people think. Your an amazing guy and I really wish our friendship was more open, just I dont want people to get mad or to start saying more unnessicary comments. I'm not embarrassed of you, I'm just annoyed by everyone else. You #3. Shut up, your all full of shit and I'm sick of feeling sorry for you. Grow up your old enough to end all this bull shit you cause and try to get attention for, stop being fake to people and grow some balls. Be a man because right now your acting like a little boy, a little boy who can't take care of anything himself. Get some confidence because you know your attractive, your gorgeous, and your nice and funny and your just everything. I can't tell you that enough, really your the complete package. You can get almost any girl, you can make friends with whoever you want. Your a good guy, and I really dont think I can deal with you anymore, no wonder you loose friends quickly. You give up when one thing goes wrong, you give up and you blame everything on everyone else. Its not just their faults but your own too, you need to learn to take responsibility before you blame others. I really like you as a friend, and I really just want the best for you, please just I want you to finally learn a meaningful lesson, because right now you suck at life. I'm glad we're friends again though, so thank you for that.
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